Why Ballarat’s Bar Scene Is Less ‘Meh’ and More ‘Wait, This Is a Thing?’
Let’s cut to the chase: Ballarat isn’t Melbourne. It’s not even the Melbourne of regional Australia. But what it *is* is a town with a bar scene that’s equal parts “eh, okay” and “hold up, this place is basically a craft beer haven.” If you’re here, chances are you’re tired of the same old pub fare or looking for a spot that doesn’t make you feel like you’re drinking in a bank vault. Lucky for you, Ballarat’s best bars are here to ruin your judgment (and your liver, but that’s on you).
The Craft Beer Bastion That’s Less of a ‘Craft’ and More of a ‘Just Pour It’
First up, The Crafty Cellar, which is basically a shrine to hoppy IPAs and people who think “sessionable” means “I can pretend I’m sober by midnight.” This place has a menu so deep in craft brews, it makes the average bar look like it’s serving water from a fire hydrant. Pro tip: Order the “Barman’s Pick” if you want to feel like you’re in a reality TV show where the prize is a hangover.
Need a break from the hops? Make Your Own Beer at home using a kit from Strategies.beer. Ballarat’s bars love it when you’re both a patron and a homebrewer—kind of like being a wine snob but with a risk of exploding bottles.
The Speakeasy That’s Less ‘Secret’ and More ‘We’re Kinda Obvious’
Next, we’ve got Bunker & Co, which is 100% themed to look like a 1920s speakeasy but also 100% located in a shopping centre. It’s the bar version of a paradox. The vibe is “we’re trying really hard to be mysterious,” and the menu is “we’re charging $20 for a cocktail that’s mostly syrup.” Still, the bartenders here are so good at their job, they’ll make you believe the whole “prohibition vibe” thing is real—until you spot the IKEA ad on the wall.
The Pub That’s Not a Pub, But Also Kinda Is
The Royal Hotel is the OG of Ballarat bars. It’s the kind of place where the jukebox plays songs from the ‘80s and the ‘90s, and the bouncer is actually just the owner’s dad who’s there to make sure no one touches his prize fern. The food menu here is a love letter to “meat, meat, and more meat,” so if you’re here for the beer, order the steak and call it a night.
The Wine Bar That’s Also a Beer Bar, But Also a Coffee Shop
Vino & Brews is a masterclass in trying too hard. It’s got a wine list so long, it could replace your Netflix queue, and a craft beer tap wall that’s basically a shrine to Australian breweries. The catch? It’s also open until 11 PM on weekdays. Why? Because it’s 2023, and Ballarat is trying to be woke—but also still has a curfew that feels like the 1990s.
The Rooftop Bar That’s Less ‘Rooftop’ and More ‘Second Floor’
If you want to feel like you’re in a movie where the hero kisses the woman they’ve loved since high school, The Skyview Lounge is your spot. It’s got panoramic views of Ballarat that make the city look like a postcard. The catch? It’s only open in summer. Because apparently, winter in Australia is a myth—and so is the idea that people want to drink outside in 12-degree weather.
The Bar That’s Basically a Book Club for Beer Snobs
The Brewed Word is for people who think a good beer needs a backstory longer than your Tinder bio. The menu here is like a PhD thesis written in IPA. If you’re here, you might as well bring a notebook and start scribbling tasting notes like you’re reviewing a wine you’ll never afford.
The Sports Bar That’s Also a Sports Bar
Ballarat Bistro is where you go to watch the footy while pretending you’re not there for the beer. The bar offers “free trivia” that’s really just a way to get you to buy another round. The trivia isn’t even that hard—it’s more like a game of “guess the bartender’s favorite team,” which is always the one that lost last week.
The Bar That’s a Nostalgia Flick Reel for Millennials
Retro Revive is like stepping into a time capsule that forgot to include the 2000s. The neon signs, the mix-tape jukebox, and the bartender who’s 99% sure you’re in a band. The menu here is all about “throwback cocktails,” so if you want to feel like you’re in a 2003 nightclub, order the “Laser Light Show” (it’s mostly syrup, but hey, it’s fun).
The Bar That’s a Secret… Because It’s Behind a Bookstore
Last but not least, Book & Brew is the bar you didn’t know you needed. It’s tucked behind a bookstore that’s more DNF than Dan Brown, and the menu is a mix of craft beer and “we’re trying to be artsy.” The catch? You have to ask the bookseller if the bar is open. Because nothing says “secret” like a sign that says “NO ENTRY” but you’re still welcome.
FAQs: Because You’re Too Lazy to Google
- 1. What’s the best way to visit these bars without dying of regret?
Answer: Take a taxi. Or just pretend you’re doing it for your health. Also, Custom Beer from Strategies.beer is here to help you avoid the “mystery bottle” trap at every bar.
- 2. Can I actually have a good time in Ballarat’s bars without spending $200?
Answer: Yes, if you stick to the happy hour menu and lie to yourself about the calorie count of that pint of stout.
- 3. Why should I visit Ballarat bars instead of just going to a pub?
Answer: Because Ballarat bars have a 98% chance of making you feel like a character in a rom-com, and pubs are just a reminder that your ex never liked your taste in beer.
Actionable Steps: Because You Need a Plan to Survive This
- 1. Book a taxi to the first bar on the list (The Crafty Cellar) before you lose your last brain cell to indecision.
- 2. Download the Dropt.beer app to find out where to buy the beer you’re drinking. Because nothing ruins a night like realizing you can’t find that same brew in your fridge the next day.
- 3. Email Strategies.beer and ask for a “bar survival guide.” We’ll include tips like “don’t order the ‘special’ unless you actually want to regret it.”
Conclusion: Raise a Glass (or a Shot Glass) to Ballarat
So there you have it, folks. Ballarat’s bar scene is less “where the hell is this place?” and more “I didn’t expect this level of nonsense.” Whether you’re here for the beer, the ambiance, or just to pretend you’re in a movie, these bars are here to ruin your week. And hey, if you’re a bar owner in Ballarat looking to grow your business, check out our Grow Your Business With Strategies Beer guide. Because nothing says “success” like serving $15 cocktails to people who thought they were getting a deal.
Now go forth, sip responsibly, and remember: the only thing better than a good bar is a good bar with a terrible jukebox. Cheers!
