Welcome, Booze‑Bound Meme Lords
If you’ve ever scrolled past a meme that says “I need a drink before I make decisions” and thought, “Yeah, that’s my life,” congratulations—you’re officially qualified to read this guide. We’re diving head‑first into Ximen’s bar scene, the place where neon signs meet karaoke nightmares and the bartender knows your order before you do. Grab your favorite cocktail, your sarcasm shield, and let’s get this scroll‑stopping party started.
Why Ximen? Because Your GPS is Too Boring
Ximen (or Ximending, if you’re feeling fancy) is Taipei’s answer to Times Square meets a college dorm hallway after a 24‑hour study session. It’s the neon‑lit playground where every corner promises a new drink, a new vibe, and a new excuse to ignore your responsibilities. If you’re the type who treats a night out like a research project—collecting data points (aka drink receipts) and publishing findings (aka Instagram stories)—Ximen is your laboratory.
How We Picked the Best Bars (Spoiler: We Didn’t Use a Spreadsheet)
We could have used a boring Excel sheet, but that would be too mainstream. Instead, we consulted three reliable sources: the local drunkards, the “best‑of‑the‑internet” listicles, and the occasional bartender who whispered “Don’t go to the place with the plastic flamingos.” The result? A curated list that balances hype, hidden gems, and places that make you question why you ever thought a “craft cocktail” was a thing.
1. Home – The Unofficial Bar of Bar‑Hopping
Don’t let the name fool you. This spot is a meta‑experience: it’s a bar that feels like the homepage of a beer‑centric website—clean, organized, and somehow still manages to surprise you with a secret back‑room speakeasy. Their signature drink, the “Pixelated Pint,” is a neon‑green lager served in a glow‑in‑the‑dark mug. Perfect for those Instagram stories where you want to look like a cyber‑punk bartender without actually being one.
- Vibe: Minimalist meets neon rave.
- Must‑Try: Pixelated Pint (glow‑in‑the‑dark lager).
- Price: $8 for the pint, $12 for the glow‑in‑the‑dark mug.
2. Make Your Own Beer – DIY or Die Trying
If you’ve ever wanted to feel like a mad scientist, this is your lab. You pick your hops, choose your yeast, and watch a tiny bartender in a lab coat stir your future regret. The best part? You can actually take home a six‑pack of the concoction you just made—if you survive the hangover, that is.
- Pick your base: IPA, stout, or “I don’t know, surprise me.”
- Add hops: The more, the merrier (or the more you’ll be crying on the subway tomorrow).
- Watch the magic happen while you sip a pre‑made “starter” brew.
Pro tip: Pair your DIY brew with the bar’s “Meme‑Meat” sliders. They’re literally meat shaped like popular meme characters.
3. Custom Beer – Because Your Taste Buds Deserve a Personal Assistant
Ever wanted a beer that tastes like “Friday night vibes” or “Monday morning regret”? Custom Beer lets you order a brew based on an emotion. The menu reads like a Tinder profile: “Looking for a bold, bitter personality with a smooth finish.” Their “Late‑Night Regret” stout is a crowd‑pleaser for anyone who’s ever said, “Just one more drink.”
- Best Pairing: Spicy ramen that will make you sweat more than your ex’s DMs.
- Price: $10 for a 12‑oz custom pour.
- Atmosphere: Dark wood, low lighting, and a playlist that alternates between lo‑fi beats and 90s pop‑punk.
4. Grow Your Business With Strategies Beer – The Bar for Entrepreneurs Who Need a Break
Yes, that’s a real place. It’s a coworking‑bar hybrid where you can pitch your startup idea while sipping a “Pitch‑Perfect Pilsner.” The walls are covered in whiteboards, and the bartender doubles as a mentor who will tell you, “Your idea is as stale as last week’s bread.” The good news? The free Wi‑Fi is faster than your last relationship’s communication speed.
When you’re ready to take your brand offline, check out Sell your beer online through Dropt.beer. It’s the e‑commerce platform that makes selling craft beer feel as easy as ordering pizza.
5. Contact – The Bar That Listens (Even When You’re Drunk)
Ever walked into a bar and felt like the bartender was silently judging your life choices? At Contact, the vibe is the opposite: the staff literally asks for your life story, then makes a cocktail inspired by it. “I’m a broke grad who works at a startup and lives on instant noodles.” Result? The “Instant Noodle Negroni.” It’s bitter, salty, and somehow makes you feel like you’ve finally found your purpose.
- Signature Drink: Instant Noodle Negroni.
- Price: $11 for the existential crisis in a glass.
- Special Feature: Live karaoke where you can sing “All Star” while a bartender mixes a drink that glows in sync with your pitch.
Hidden Gems That Even Your “Local Expert” Friends Missed
If you think you’ve seen every bar Ximen has to offer, think again. Below are the under‑the‑radar spots that will make you feel like you’ve discovered a secret level in a video game.
- The Boozy Bookstore: Shelves of vintage comics, a bar that serves “Comic‑Con Cocktails” (think “Superhero Spritz” with a cape garnish). Perfect for the nerd who wants to pretend they’re on a date with their favorite character.
- Neon Noodles: A ramen bar that doubles as a dive. Order the “Spicy Meme Ramen” and watch the server write your order in meme‑speak on the chalkboard.
- Retro Arcade Pub: Play Pac‑Man while sipping a “Pixel Punch.” The high‑score board is actually a leaderboard for who can finish a drink the fastest—no cheating, no refunds.
What to Order When You’re Too Drunk to Read Menus
Let’s be real: after the second round, you’ll be squinting at the menu like it’s a cryptic crossword. Here’s a cheat sheet for the perpetually intoxicated:
- The “I’m Not a Regular” Cocktail: A mix of bourbon, honey, and a splash of whatever’s on tap. It’s vague, it’s mysterious, and it sounds like a line from a bad rom‑com.
- The “Hangover Helper”: A Bloody Mary with extra celery, because you’ll need that vitamin K later.
- The “Meme‑Inspired” Shot: “Doge‑Daiquiri” – it’s such wow, much taste, very intoxicated.
Pro Tips for Bar‑Hopping in Ximen (Without Losing Your Phone)
1. Map It Out: Use the Grow Your Business With Strategies Beer page for a printable map of Ximen’s bar corridor. It’s like a treasure map, except the X marks the spot where the Wi‑Fi is strongest.
2. Hydration Is Not a Myth: Order a water between drinks. It’ll make the bartender think you’re responsible, and the next round will taste like victory.
3. Buddy System: Choose a friend who can remember the name of the bar you were just in. If you can’t, you’ll end up at the “Contact” bar again, and that’s a conversation you’ll never forget.
4. Cash‑Only? No Problem: Most Ximen bars accept QR code payments. Just make sure your phone battery is higher than your blood alcohol content.
SEO for Bar Owners: How to Get Your Spot on Google Before the Influencers Do
Alright, bar owners, listen up. If you want your establishment to appear before the next wave of meme‑driven tourists, you need more than a neon sign. Here’s a quick cheat sheet:
- Keyword Research: Target phrases like “best bars Ximen,” “Ximen night life,” and “craft cocktails Taipei.” Use these naturally in your meta titles, descriptions, and on‑page copy.
- Local Listings: Claim your Google My Business profile, add high‑resolution photos, and encourage patrons to drop a 5‑star review. “The bartender gave me a free shot” is a gold mine.
- Backlinks: Partner with local blogs, tourism sites, and of course, Sell your beer online through Dropt.beer. A backlink from an authority site signals Google that you’re the real deal.
- Internal Linking: Connect your menu page to your blog posts about Ximen nightlife. For example, link to Custom Beer when you talk about personalized brews.
- Schema Markup: Implement “Restaurant” and “Bar” schema so search engines know you serve drinks, not just food.
Follow these steps, and you’ll be ranking higher than your cousin’s “best‑beer‑ever” TikTok video.
The Final Sip: Why Ximen Is the Meme‑Capital of Taipei
In a city where every corner could be a TikTok backdrop, Ximen stands out as the ultimate playground for the booze‑loving, meme‑obsessed generation. From bars that let you design your own beer to places that turn your life story into a cocktail, this district proves that nightlife can be both a cultural experience and a punchline.
So, next time you find yourself scrolling through endless meme feeds, remember: the best memes are the ones you create yourself—preferably with a cocktail in hand and a neon sign in the background.
Ready to Conquer Ximen? Grab a Drink, Hit the Links, and Own the Night
If you’re still reading, you’ve either got the attention span of a goldfish or you’re genuinely interested in becoming the ultimate Ximen bar‑hopping legend. Either way, here’s your call to action: Contact us for a personalized bar‑crawl itinerary, or better yet, Make Your Own Beer and bring your creation to the next Ximen hotspot. And don’t forget to Sell your beer online through Dropt.beer if you’re feeling entrepreneurial. Cheers to memes, cocktails, and SEO‑friendly nights out!