Why Covent Garden? Just Don’t Ask Us to Take It Seriously
Covent Garden is the kind of place where you can stumble into a pub, order a pint, and leave with a newfound appreciation for artisanal cheese and existential dread. (Yes, that’s a real menu item.) If you’re here, you’re probably asking, “Where do I go to feel *slightly* less lost in this tourist trap?” Good news: we’ve sorted the wheat from the chaff. These pubs are the real deal—even if they do charge £10 for a bag of crisps.
Where to Start: The Pub That Looks Like a Museum
If you’re into “pretentious but cozy,” The Churchill Arms is your spot. It’s got the vibe of a Victorian library where Winston himself might pop in for a gin and tonic. Pro tip: Order the “secret garden” cocktail—it’s just vodka and lime, but they’ll tell you it’s infused with the tears of a 19th-century poet. Value-driven insight: If you’re looking for a pub that doubles as a history lesson, book a table before your Instagram filters start to fade.
The Pubs Themselves: A Ranking (Because We’re All Competitive)
- The Golden Hind: This pub claims it’s been around since 1640. That’s older than your ability to spell “Covent Garden.” The highlight? A 16th-century fireplace that’s less “cozy” and more “we’ve had rats here since the Civil War.”
- The Coach and Horses: A local favorite where the bar staff know your name and your ex’s name. They serve “real ale” (translation: it’s been sitting in a barrel for three days and might taste like regret).
- The Shakespeare’s Head: Shakespeare never set foot here, but the decor suggests he might’ve been here for a quick pint. The “Shakespearean” cocktail? Just gin and tonic, but they’ll call it “The Bard’s Bitter.”
Pro Tips: How to Avoid Looking Like a Tourist
- Don’t ask for “the best”—just say, “What’s the most authentic pub here?” They’ll either point to The Churchill Arms or sell you a souvenir mug.
- Order the “local specialty”—it’s usually just a fancy name for lager. Example: “The Covent Crush” is a pint of lager with a lime wedge. For £12.
- Bring cash—many pubs still operate on a “pay at the bar, don’t touch the till” system. It’s like 1999, but with more pretentiousness.
Why These Pubs Won’t Break the Bank (But Might Break Your Heart)
Covent Garden’s pubs are a masterclass in balancing charm with absurdity. Take The Golden Hind, which serves £12 pints but still allows you to smoke outside in a designated “vintage smoking area” (translation: a corner with no seating). The real magic? They’ll let you order a “pub quiz” for the table. It’s just trivia, but they’ll charge you £20 if it’s after 8 PM.
Frequently Asked Questions (Because You’re Not the First to Ask)
- Is there a pub with a garden? Yes, but it’s a 3-square-foot patch of soil with one sunflower and a sign that says, “Please don’t urinate here.”
- Which pub has live music? The Shakespeare’s Head hosts an “open mic night” where people perform Shakespearean plays. It’s less fun when the actor who played Hamlet forgets the script and starts doing interpretive dance instead.
- Can I get food here? Only if “food” means a £15 cheese board with a single slice of bread and a side of existential dread.
Why This Matters (And Why You Should Care)
Covent Garden’s pubs aren’t just places to drink—they’re experiences. Whether you’re here to pretend you’re a local or just to order a £12 pint of lager, these spots offer a mix of history, charm, and the occasional tourist trap. And hey, if you’re going to spend £30 on a meal, at least make it look Instagram-worthy. Need help branding your next pub adventure? We’ve got strategies for that.
Final Cheers (and a Call to Action)
If you’ve made it this far, you’re either desperate for pub recommendations or already halfway through your third pint. Either way, here’s your next move: Hit up Strategies.beer for more tips on navigating London’s pub scene like a pro. And if you’re a pub owner looking to sell your beer online? Sell your beer online through Dropt.beer—because no one wants to be the pub that only serves “artisanal” regret.
Need More? We’ve Got You Covered
Got questions about the best pub food, how to avoid tourist traps, or why every menu has a “signature cocktail” (spoiler: it’s just gin and lime)? Drop us a line at Strategies.beer. We’ll help you drink smarter, not harder. Cheers to that!
