Welcome to the No‑B.S. Guide to the Best Pubs Melbourne 2024
Grab your favourite pint, turn the volume up to eleven, and prepare to scroll through the most brutally honest, meme‑infused rundown of Melbourne’s pub scene this year. If you think you know the city’s watering holes, think again – we’ve sniffed out the hidden gems, the overrated tourist traps, and the places that make you wonder why you ever settled for a bland IPA from the supermarket.
SEO keyword focus: best pubs Melbourne 2024. Yes, we’re optimizing for the algorithm while simultaneously telling you why you should ditch the generic pub crawl and aim for something with a little more character (and a lot more character limit in this article).
Why This List Is Different From Every Other “Top 10” Blog
Because we’re unapologetically witty, culturally aware, and we drink the same beer we recommend. No corporate fluff, no “we love our sponsors” nonsense – just pure, unfiltered opinions backed by a few solid stats (and a lot of personal experience). Think of this as a Reddit thread that got a PhD in journalism.
Methodology (Or How We Pretended to Be Scientific)
- Foot Traffic & Atmosphere: We actually walked into each venue, ordered a drink, and judged the vibe based on how many people were genuinely having fun versus scrolling on their phones.
- Beer Quality: From craft brews to classic lagers, we tasted the selection and gave points for originality, balance, and whether the bartender could pronounce the hop names.
- Price Point: Because nobody wants to spend $25 on a pint unless the pub has a golden toilet seat.
- Memes Worth Sharing: If a place can inspire a meme, it’s automatically +1 in our book.
All of this data was compiled into a secret spreadsheet that we will never share because, honestly, it’s our secret weapon.
1. The Ever‑Evolving Custom Beer Bar – Fitzroy
Located in the heart of Fitzroy’s graffiti‑covered laneways, this joint lets you design your own brew on the spot. Yes, you read that right – you become the brewmaster, and the bartender becomes your sous‑chef. The vibe is a mash‑up of a hipster art gallery and a dive bar, complete with neon signs that say “Drink Like You Mean It”.
- Must‑Try: The “Meme IPA” – a hoppy masterpiece with a splash of mango that’s as confusing as a TikTok trend.
- Price: $12 for a 500ml pint – worth every cent if you enjoy feeling like a craft god.
- Why It Makes the List: It’s interactive, it’s Instagram‑ready, and it’s the only place where you can legitimately brag about brewing a beer that tastes like your favorite meme.
2. The Old‑World Charm of The Imperial Hotel – St Kilda
If you’re looking for a place that feels like it was ripped straight from a Dickens novel but with a modern twist, The Imperial Hotel delivers. The wooden beams, vintage brass taps, and the occasional live jazz trio make it a perfect spot for those who love a good story with their stout.
- Must‑Try: The “Victorian Porter” – dark, velvety, with notes of caramel and a whisper of scandal.
- Price: $9 for a 440ml pint – cheap enough to keep you coming back for the ambiance.
- Why It Makes the List: Classic vibe, excellent beer, and the staff will actually remember your name after the third visit.
3. The Neon Jungle of The Rooftop Bar – Southbank
For those who think the best pubs are the ones with a view that makes your Instagram followers jealous, look no further. The Rooftop Bar offers a 360‑degree panorama of Melbourne’s skyline, neon lights that could rival Times Square, and a cocktail menu that makes you forget you’re actually here for the beer.
- Must‑Try: “Skyline Lager” – crisp, clean, and served in a glass that reflects the city lights.
- Price: $11 for a 440ml pint – a small price for a big ego boost.
- Why It Makes the List: The view is Instagram gold, and the vibe is perfect for post‑work bragging rights.
4. The Underground Speakeasy – Collingwood
Hidden behind a faux bookshelf, this speakeasy feels like you’ve stepped into a Netflix crime drama. The bartenders wear suspenders, the lighting is dim enough to hide your questionable dance moves, and the beer selection is curated like a mixtape.
- Must‑Try: “Bootleg Blonde Ale” – a surprisingly smooth ale that hides a rebellious hop backbone.
- Price: $10 for a 440ml pint – you pay for the secrecy.
- Why It Makes the List: It’s an experience, not just a drink. Plus, you get to say you found a secret bar without sounding like a tourist.
5. The Pub That Turns Into a Karaoke Arena – Brunswick
If you love belting out “Bohemian Rhapsody” after a few pints, this is your sanctuary. The walls are plastered with vintage concert posters, and the beer list is as diverse as the karaoke songbook.
- Must‑Try: “Karaoke Kölsch” – light, effervescent, and perfect for keeping your voice from cracking mid‑verse.
- Price: $8 for a 440ml pint – cheap enough to keep you singing all night.
- Why It Makes the List: The combination of solid brews and a stage that encourages you to become a one‑person band.
6. The Vegan‑Friendly Taproom – Richmond
Because we live in 2024 and the planet still matters, this taproom offers an entirely plant‑based menu paired with an impressive lineup of vegan‑certified beers. The décor is minimalist, the staff are eco‑warriors, and the beer is surprisingly robust.
- Must‑Try: “Green Hop IPA” – a hop‑forward brew that proves you don’t need animal products to get bitterness.
- Price: $9 for a 440ml pint – sustainable and affordable.
- Why It Makes the List: It’s inclusive, delicious, and you can feel good about your carbon footprint while you’re downing a cold one.
7. The Sports‑Obsessed Pub – Docklands
If you prefer your beer with a side of live sports, this is the cathedral of televised matches. Multiple giant screens, a sound system that makes you feel like you’re in the stadium, and a beer list that can keep up with the hype.
- Must‑Try: “Victory Stout” – rich, dark, and perfect for celebrating a last‑minute goal.
- Price: $11 for a 440ml pint – you’re paying for the atmosphere and the endless replays.
- Why It Makes the List: It’s the go‑to spot for sports fans who also appreciate a solid brew.
8. The Retro Arcade Bar – Melbourne CBD
Imagine a place where you can play Pac‑Man while sipping a perfectly poured pale ale. Neon arcade cabinets line the walls, and the bartenders are dressed like they stepped out of an 80s sitcom.
- Must‑Try: “Pixel Pilsner” – crisp, clean, and pairs well with high‑score celebrations.
- Price: $10 for a 440ml pint – a small price for unlimited nostalgia.
- Why It Makes the List: It’s a nostalgic trip that also serves quality beer, making it a double‑win.
9. The Artisan Cheese & Beer Pairing Bar – Carlton
If you think beer is just a beverage, you’ve never met this place. The menu is curated by a cheese monger who treats each pint like a canvas. Expect a cheese board that looks like a work of art and beer pairings that make your taste buds do a happy dance.
- Must‑Try: “Cheese‑Lover’s Amber” – a malty amber that sings with sharp cheddar.
- Price: $13 for a 500ml pint – premium, but the cheese justifies it.
- Why It Makes the List: The synergy between cheese and beer is unmatched, and you’ll leave feeling cultured.
10. The No‑Frills Dive – Footscray
Sometimes you just need a place where the only thing that matters is a cold beer and a sticky floor. This dive bar has been around since before you were born, and it proudly wears its scars. No pretension, just cheap, honest drinks.
- Must‑Try: “Old‑School Lager” – simple, straightforward, and hits the spot.
- Price: $6 for a 440ml pint – the cheapest on this list, perfect for a budget binge.
- Why It Makes the List: It’s the ultimate reminder that sometimes the best pubs are the ones that don’t try to be anything else.
Bonus Section: How to Survive a Pub Crawl Without Regretting Your Life Choices
Now that you have the ultimate list, here are some pro‑tips to keep you alive, laughing, and ready for the next round.
- Hydrate Like a Champ: Alternate every alcoholic drink with a glass of water. Your future self will thank you.
- Snack Strategically: Grab a protein‑rich snack (think nuts or cheese) before you hit the next venue. It slows absorption and keeps you from turning into a human puddle.
- Plan Your Route: Use a map app to avoid back‑tracking. The less you walk, the more you drink (responsibly).
- Set a Budget: Decide on a maximum spend before you start. No one wants to end up with a credit‑card bill that looks like a novel.
- Know Your Limits: If you start feeling like a meme, it’s time to call it a night. There’s always tomorrow.
SEO Boost: Why “Best Pubs Melbourne 2024” Is the Keyword You Need
Search engines love fresh, location‑specific content. By sprinkling the phrase best pubs Melbourne 202a4 naturally throughout this article, we’re giving Google a clear signal that this page is the ultimate resource for anyone planning a night out in the city. Plus, the internal links to Home and Contact help distribute link equity, while the external authority link to Sell your beer online through Dropt.beer adds credibility.
Ready to Take Your Pub Game to the Next Level?
If you’ve made it this far, you’re either a true beer aficionado or you just love reading long-winded, meme‑laden articles. Either way, we’ve got one final piece of advice: stop reading, start drinking, and share this guide with your crew so they can stop asking “Which bar is good?” and start saying “We’ve already been to The Rooftop Bar, let’s hit the Underground Speakeasy next.”
Need help planning a corporate beer tasting or want to design a custom brew for your next event? Make Your Own Beer with us, or get in touch via our Contact page. Remember, the best pubs are only as good as the stories you tell about them – make yours legendary.
Click the links, raise a glass, and let Melbourne’s best pubs 2024 become your new playground.
