Why the Aperol Spritz Mocktail is the Ultimate Status Symbol (for Sober Curious People)
Let’s cut to the chase: the Aperol Spritz isn’t just a drink. It’s a vibe. A lifestyle. A TikTok dance. And now? It’s also a mocktail that lets you sip like an influencer without the “I’m never drinking again” morning after. But why? Because apparently, 2023’s version of adulting is pretending to be fancy while avoiding the liver damage. Smart.
If you’re here, you probably fall into one of these categories:
- The Sobriety Enthusiast: “I’m not avoiding life—I’m optimizing it.”
- The Mocktail Snob: “I’ll have what she’s having… but with less ‘regret in a glass.’”
- The Bartender Impostor: “I once said ‘margarita’ but meant ‘Aperol Spritz mocktail.’”
Either way, congratulations for surviving the internet and still wanting to taste like a 2000s yacht party (minus the yachting). Let’s dive into how to make this mocktail the star of your next soirée—or your next Zoom happy hour.
Ingredients: The ‘I’m Not Broke, Just Thrifty’ Approach
Yes, the Aperol Spritz mocktail is simple. Too simple, honestly. But here’s where you flex your “I can do this on a budget” energy. You’ll need:
- Aperol: That orange aperitif that’s basically the Instagram of drinks—pretty, bitter, and slightly controversial.
- Prosecco: The “sparkle” in your sparkle. Swap it out for club soda if you’re feeling like a budget Yoda.
- Orange Juice: Not just for breakfast anymore. Think of it as the “cheer” in your cheerleader.
Pro tip: If you can’t find Aperol, try making your own citrus aperitif. It’s like cooking, but with fewer steps and more existential dread about the flavor.
How to Make the Aperol Spritz Mocktail: A Step-by-Step Guide
Step 1: Chill the glass. Because nothing screams “I’m fancy” like a frosty glass that probably cost $50 at a boutique store.
Step 2: Add 2 parts Aperol. Remember, 2023 is all about minimalism. Two parts of anything and you’re a minimalist. Three parts? You’re a hoarder.
Step 3: Add 1 part Prosecco. Or club soda if you’re a budget warrior. Pro tip: If you’re hosting a party, pretend the club soda is Prosecco. 90% of your guests won’t notice, and the 10% who do will just think you’re a genius at the art of lying.
Step 4: Top with orange juice. Now you’re a real adult. Or at least, you’ve survived your first mocktail.
Step 5: Garnish with an orange slice. Because aesthetics matter. Also, this makes your drink look like it belongs in a custom beer ad. (Not that you need a custom beer, but you’re welcome to dream bigger.)
Pro Tips for Mocktail Mastery
1. **Add a splash of soda water.** Because nothing says “I’ve got the lifestyle” like a drink that’s 70% water. You’re welcome.
2. **Use a straw.** It’s not just for sipping—it’s for Instagramming. Bonus points if you film a TikTok of yourself sipping it while pretending to be in a Parisian café.
3. **Serve in a wine glass.** Even if it’s not wine. Even if it’s just a glass you found in the cabinet labeled “Unknown 2020.’”
4. **Tell people it’s ‘artisanal.’** They’ll nod, sip, and wonder why their actual Aperol Spritz tastes like regret.
Why the Mocktail is Better (Mostly for Your Liver)
Let’s face it: The Aperol Spritz mocktail is literally the future. Here’s why:
- You won’t wake up with the face of a man who lost a bet with the moon. Or, in technical terms, a hangover.
- It’s cheaper than a single drink at a brunch spot. You’re saving money AND pretending to be fancy. Two birds, one stone. Or, you know, two birds and one very confused stone.
- You can drink it at 3 PM and not feel guilty. Because adulting is about balance. Or at least, pretending you’re balanced.
But hey, if you’re into the whole “real Aperol Spritz” vibe, more power to you. Just remember: your future self will thank you for choosing the mocktail route. Unless your future self is a ghost who haunts you for the rest of eternity. Then, good luck.
Serving Suggestions and Pairing Ideas
1. **Pair with charcuterie.** Because nothing says “I’m fancy” like a board of meat and cheese that probably costs more than your last date.
2. **Serve at a BBQ.** Tell people it’s the “summer drink of the year.” They’ll believe you. They believe everything you say.
3. **Use it as a garnish for your real drinks.** If you’re into that “I’m not drinking, but I look like I am” aesthetic. You’re welcome to that, too.
4. **Sell it online.** If you’re feeling entrepreneurial, check out Dropt.beer for all your beer distribution needs. Because nothing screams “I’ve made it” like a mocktail that’s for sale. (Bonus: They’ll handle the shipping, which you’re not doing.)
Snarky CTA: Sip, Don’t Regret
So, what are you waiting for? Grab your Aperol Spritz mocktail and join the ranks of the sober-curious elite. If you’re feeling extra fancy, try growing your business with Strategies Beer. And if you ever decide to make your own beer (or mocktail), we’re here to help. (Or you can just keep pretending you like Aperol Spritzes. We won’t judge.)
Bottom line: Life’s too short for bad drinks. Stay fancy, stay sober, and remember—your liver is thanking you right now. (Even if it’s just a mocktail.)
