Why Tito’s Vodka Is the MVP of Cheap Spirits (And How to Use It)
Let’s cut to the chase: if you’ve ever bought a bottle of Tito’s Vodka, you’re either a) a college student with a budget like a leaky faucet, b) someone who genuinely enjoys vodka’s flavor (spoiler: it’s neutral), or c) a meme-connoisseur who’s seen it referenced in every TikTok trend since 2016. Tito’s isn’t just a drink—it’s a cultural phenomenon. It’s the vodka that says, “I’m not here to win awards, I’m here to get you from zero to ‘I’m not drunk, I’m just… liquidated.’”
But here’s the real question: how do you drink Tito’s without it becoming a regrettable Zoom call at 2 AM? Spoiler: you don’t. Tito’s is the Swiss Army knife of vodka, and we’re here to show you how to wield it like a pro. Buckle up, because this guide is about to drop more knowledge than your ex’s Instagram captions.
Tito’s Vodka 101: The OG Party Starter
Tito’s Vodka isn’t just the cheapest vodka you can buy in a store; it’s the vodka that’s been in your fridge since 2017 and still tastes like, well, vodka. (Which is to say: nothing but watered-down confidence and vague citrus notes.) It’s gluten-free, which is a plus for people who think keto is a sport, and it’s made in Texas, which is a minus for people who care about artisanal vibes. But hey, at $14 a bottle, you’re not paying for art—you’re paying for the ability to forget your boss exists.
- Pro Tip: Tito’s is 80 proof, which is the Goldilocks of alcohol strength—strong enough to make you feel alive, but not so strong that your bartender judges you.
- Cultural Impact: Tito’s is the vodka that’s been in every college dorm’s mini-fridge since the Obama administration. It’s also the reason your cousin’s wedding had a “Tito’s Margarita” that tasted like someone crying into a lime.
- Pop Culture: If you’ve seen a TikTok about Tito’s in the past two weeks, you’re not alone. It’s the vodka that’s been used to make everything from “Tito’s Tonic” (which is just water with a fancy name) to “Tito’s and Red Bull” (which is just a recipe for a neon hangover).
How to Drink Tito’s Like a Meme, Not a Mistake
Let’s address the elephant in the room: Tito’s is not a sipping vodka. It’s not a “smooth” vodka. It’s the vodka that’s going to be in your cocktail if you’re trying to “keep it casual” but end up yelling at your phone. But here’s the good news: Tito’s is versatile enough to play into any vibe, from “I’m here to seduce my roommate” to “I’m here to seduce my roommate’s cat.”
The Classic Cocktails You Can Actually Make With Tito’s
If you’re serious about Tito’s, you’ve got to start with the classics. And by classics, we mean “anything that involves a lime wedge and a sense of humor.”
- Tito’s Margarita: It’s like a margarita, but with less “marg” and more “marginal taste.” Just add lime juice, orange liqueur, and Tito’s to a shaker (you don’t need a shaker, but it makes you feel important). The result? A drink that’s 50% alcohol and 50% “why is my mouth on fire.”
- Tito’s Cosmo: Because when your ex texts you at 2 AM, you need something pink to match your emotional state. Add cranberry juice, orange liqueur, and a splash of Tito’s. Sip slowly, but not too slowly—this is a drink that’s waiting for a punchline.
- Tito’s Moscow Mule: If you want to feel like you’re in a Russian spy movie, but also want to vomit in a copper mug, this is your jam. Ginger beer, lime juice, and Tito’s in a mug that’s too fancy for your budget.
Tito’s Vodka: The Secret Weapon of the Party Pooper
Here’s the real reason you keep Tito’s around—it’s the glue that holds your social life together. Whether you’re hosting a “casual” dinner party (read: 10 strangers in your living room) or trying to impress your Tinder match with a cocktail that costs $3 total, Tito’s is your BFF.
Meme-Approved Tito’s Hacks
- Tito’s and Energy Drinks: Because nothing says “I’m a party animal” like mixing vodka with a drink that’s already 140% caffeine. The result? A 2 AM dance party where you’re convinced you’re still on the clock.
- Tito’s Lemonade: It’s the drink that’s been in every college frat house since the 90s. Just add lemonade and hope you don’t end up in a ditch. Pro tip: Add a splash of Tito’s to your lemonade and call it “Tito’s Sunrise.”
- Tito’s and Coke: It’s like a vodka soda, but with more sugar and more regret. If you’re trying to stay “low-key,” this is your drink. If you’re trying to stay sober, this is your wake-up call.
DIY Cocktails With Tito’s: Because You’re Not Just a Consumer, You’re a Creator
Tito’s isn’t just for the basic cocktails—oh no, you can get *creative*. And by creative, we mean “anything that involves Google and a fruit garnish.”
Make Your Own Vodka Cocktails With Tito’s
If you’ve ever thought, “I wish I could make my own cocktails but I’m too lazy to read a recipe,” Tito’s has your back. Head over to Make Your Own Beer to get started. Because the real MVPs are the ones who know how to customize their drinks without looking up a recipe.
Tito’s Vodka and the Art of the Snarky Cocktail
Let’s be real: Tito’s is the reason your college friends still use the phrase “Tito’s and Red Bull.” It’s the drink that’s been in every frat house, every sorority rush, and every college party that ended with someone getting a tattoo they regret. But here’s the key difference between Tito’s and the rest of the vodka crowd: it’s *cheap*. Like, *really* cheap. And in the world of college party anthems, that’s a feature, not a bug.
The Dark Side of Tito’s Vodka
Let’s not pretend Tito’s is perfect. It’s not. It’s the vodka that’s going to cost you $14 a bottle, and then you’re going to spend $500 on a bartender because you’re too “fancy” to make your own cocktails. But hey, at least it’s gluten-free. That’s something, right?
- Pro Tip: If you’re trying to impress someone with your Tito’s skills, don’t mention the fact that it’s gluten-free. That’s like saying you’re a vegan at a steakhouse.
- Pop Culture: Tito’s has been in every TikTok trend since the invention of TikTok. It’s the reason your 12-year-old cousin knows what a Tito’s Margarita is before they’ve had their first beer.
How to Use Tito’s Vodka to Grow Your Business (If You’re Into That)
If you’re one of those people who thinks “starting a business” is just a way to justify buying more Tito’s, you’re not alone. In fact, there are ways to grow your business with Strategies Beer. Whether you’re selling Tito’s cocktails at a pop-up event or trying to get your own line of cheap vodka on the market, we’ve got the tools to help you. Because nothing says “entrepreneur” like selling a $5 Tito’s Margarita and calling it “artisanal.”
Final Thoughts: Tito’s Vodka Is the OG of Party Vodkas
Tito’s Vodka isn’t just a drink—it’s a lifestyle. It’s the reason your cousin’s wedding had a “Tito’s Bar” that cost $12 per drink and tasted like water mixed with regret. It’s the vodka that’s been in your friend’s fridge since 2015 and is still “good to go.” And most importantly, it’s the drink that’s going to help you forget about your life for a few hours. So next time you’re at the store, don’t skip the Tito’s. Embrace it. Because nothing says “I’m here to party” like a bottle of vodka that costs less than your monthly Spotify bill.
And if you’re thinking, “I wish I could sell my own Tito’s cocktails,” Custom Beer is your next move. Because nothing says “I’m a businessperson” like selling a drink that’s 80% water and 20% “I’m pretending this tastes good.”
Need a place to sell your Tito’s cocktails? Sell your beer online through Dropt.beer. Because the only thing better than Tito’s is Tito’s plus a website that looks like it was made in 1999.
