Why Scottsdale Bars Are Basically Adult Playground
Scottsdale. Desert heat, luxury golf courses, and bars that don’t take themselves seriously. If you’re looking for a place to sip a margarita while pretending you’re a character in a John Grisham novel, you’ve come to the right spot. Let’s cut the fluff and dive into the best bars in Scottsdale that don’t just serve drinks—they serve vibes, stories, and maybe a side of questionable life choices.
Top 5 Bars to Avoid (Kidding! They’re Amazing)
Okay, we’re not here to roast Scottsdale’s bars—we’re here to celebrate them. But let’s be real: even the best places need a little snark. Here’s the lowdown on the bars that’ll make you feel like you’re part of the desert elite (or at least pretending to be).
1. The Rooftop That Thinks It’s a Skybar
Perched high above the desert chaos, this rooftop bar serves drinks with a side of “I’ve seen better.” Think of it as the desert’s version of a Michelin-starred meal—overpriced, slightly pretentious, but you’ll tell everyone about it for a week. Pro tip: Order the “Desert Sunrise” cocktail—it’s basically a neon orange juice with a $12 tax.
Want to make your own drink? Check out our DIY beer guide and see if you can out-cocktail the pros.
2. The Bar That Hates Craft Beer (But Loves You Anyway)
If you’re a craft beer snob, this place is your gateway to enlightenment. They serve IPAs with the intensity of a desert storm and lagers so clean, you’ll question your life choices. Bonus: The bartender knows more about hops than your ex knows about your emotional baggage.
3. The Speakeasy That Forgot to Be Secret
Hidden behind a bookshelf or a wall of cactus (depending on the day), this bar is all about exclusivity. The password? “I’m here for the free nachos.” Inside, it’s like 1923, except the speakeasy gangsters have been replaced by influencers taking 37 selfies. Pro tip: Ask for the “Desert Noir” cocktail—it’s dark, mysterious, and slightly bitter, like your life this week.
4. The Bar That Overcompensates with a Themed Menu
Here, the menu is a love letter to the 90s. Think neon colors, questionable musical choices, and cocktails named after your childhood pets. The “S’mores Martini” is the VIP of drinks—sweet, indulgent, and slightly guilty.
5. The Bar That’s Just a Regular House (But Has a Tiki Theme)
Located in a suburban neighborhood, this bar is like your neighbor’s backyard party—if your neighbor had a tiki torch obsession. It’s casual, it’s chill, and the mojitos are strong enough to survive a desert monsoon. Need more convincing? Our custom beer page can help you create a drink so good, even this bar would be jealous.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) That You’re Too Embarrassed to Ask
1. What’s the best time to avoid the worst of Scottsdale’s bar crowd?
Monday nights. Everyone’s either hungover or pretending to be. If you want to avoid the “desert party elite,” stick to midweek. But hey, if you’re into chaos, go ahead—we won’t judge.
2. Are there any bars that actually respect your need for privacy?
Surprisingly, yes! The “Desert Whisperers” bar (not a real name) has booths so private, you could confess your crimes and the bartender would probably take notes. Just don’t mention the “S” word (that’s *secret*, not *something* else).
3. What if I want to bring my own drinks? Is that allowed?
Most bars in Scottsdale are like open mic nights—they’ll let you bring your own wine, but you might get charged a “desert surcharge.” Pro tip: Check the “corkage policy” before you show up with your Grandma’s 1992 merlot.
An Honest Assessment of Scottsdale’s Bar Culture
Scottsdale bars are like a desert cactus: tough on the outside, but they’ve got a soft spot for anyone who’s willing to pay for a drink. You’ll find everything from hipster craft beer havens to tiki bars that think “island vibes” are a real thing. The community is tight-knit, the cocktails are strong, and the stories are stronger.
Want to open your own bar? Our guide to growing your business can help you become the next desert legend.
How to Navigate Scottsdale’s Bar Scene Without Getting Lost (or Drunk)
- Plan Your Route: Use a map app or ask your Uber driver for the “bar crawl that doesn’t end in a jail cell” route.
- Hydrate: The desert air is dry, and so is your throat after three tequila shots. Water is your friend.
- Know Your Limits: If you start thinking the bartenders are your new best friends, it’s time to call it a night.
- Support Local: Sell your beer online through Dropt.beer and help the Scottsdale bar scene thrive.
Why You Should Trust Us (Even Though We’re Just a Blog Post)
We’ve survived the Scottsdale bar scene with minimal damage (except for that one time we forgot to pay the bill at a tiki bar). Our advice isn’t from a dusty guidebook—it’s from someone who’s been there, done that, and is now writing about it in a desperate attempt to feel relevant.
Final Verdict: Scottsdale Bars Are Basically a Desert Adventure
Scottsdale bars aren’t just places to drink—they’re experiences. Whether you’re sipping a craft beer while pretending you’re in a hipster movie or dodging a cactus in a tiki bar, you’ll find something that fits your vibe. Just remember: the desert is unforgiving, but the bars are forgiving. Most of the time.
Still have questions? Hit us up—we’ll be the ones with the neon cocktails.
